ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
