he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
