I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
