Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
