you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
