he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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