And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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