My girlfriend figured out who you are.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
