I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
