We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
