The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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