No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
