then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
