Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
