She announced her abortion via fbk
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
