Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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