As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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