I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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