I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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