and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my shit smells like andre
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
