so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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