This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
