What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize