i already hear my dad disowning me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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