North Korea, Best Korea!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize