jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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