But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
