Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize