i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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