no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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