Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
