The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
