do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
