I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
