dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
