So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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