btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
