Porn is love you can see.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have aggressive nipples.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize