What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
