Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
