You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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