i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
