They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
