I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I need to stop coming to work sober
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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