i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
