everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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