Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize