addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
