watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
