Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
