I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
