remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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