do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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