well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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