you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
