I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
