There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize