I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
